The 5 Love Languages
Learn to speak the love language of those you care about
This now-famous system of the “5 Love Languages” is an inciteful way to communicate better with those you love, whether your mate or family, friends and co-workers. Created by marriage counselor Gary Chapman, there are now many offshoots and countless better relationships thanks to these insights.
The Basic Concept
The idea is that we all have a primary way we feel truly loved and seen. If our partner communicates that way (or in that language) to us, we feel cared for and loved. If they don't, we simply don't, no matter how caring and sweet they are in all the other languages. Most of us know instinctively when we hear these descriptions which one is our primary love language. But you can have two. We all want and deserve to hear all of these. The key point is that if you aren't receiving the one that's crucial for you, you start to feel like you're starving.
The 5 Main Languages
If you're not sure which type you or your partner is, you can take a short quiz HERE.
Get the Book
Get the book right HERE.
How to Speak Love Languages for Better Relationships
Most of us instinctively give our partners our own language. That's natural. But it's sadly besides the point. Just ask them what their love language is and they'll most likely love to let you know.
Let's say your partner's love language is acts of service. You're always telling them how great they are (words of affirmation); you're affectionate and you give them great hugs (physical touch); you plan date nights (quality time); you bring them sweet trinkets from your travels (gifts). And they still feel sad and unseen and you're beside yourself trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong. It's because they truly feel loved when you provide acts of service for them. Things like fixing their car when they didn't even ask, noticing what they need and taking care of it ahead of time.
The same goes for every other language. If you're giving all of them except your partner's primary one, they're going to start to starve.
So how do you learn to communicate in a language that's not your own? You do one little thing that you know makes them feel loved. Watch them light up with love in response. That starts a trail of positive energy you won't want to stop.